(Also suitable for School Staff)
Halloween can be an exciting time for children, but for some, the spooky costumes, dark settings and frightening decorations can cause significant anxiety and fear. If your child is scared of Halloween, you’re not alone. We have worked with many children who experience fears during this holiday or develop anxiety afterwards and as a parent, there are ways to help them overcome their anxiety. In this guide, we’ll provide practical steps on how to regulate your scared child, making Halloween a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone.
Understanding Common Halloween Fears
Before diving into how to help your child overcome their fears, it’s important to understand why Halloween can be so scary for some children. Common fears include:
- Scary Costumes: Masks and costumes that obscure faces or portray monsters can be overwhelming for young children, are too gory/frightening for some children to process/integrate and so they leave a nervousness in their systems.
- Sensory concerns: Some children hate dressing up because they don’t like the feel/ texture of the clothes or having their face covered.
- Frightening Decorations: Halloween decorations, such as fake skeletons or dark, eerie lighting, can trigger fear. These decorations can be noisy, bright, large, this can be over stimulating for some children.
- The Unknown: Trick-or-treating in the dark, encountering new people, and unexpected sounds, sights and lights can heighten anxiety for children who are naturally cautious or sensitive.
Children’s developmental stages play a significant role in how they perceive fear. Younger children, especially those under seven, often struggle to differentiate between fantasy and reality, which makes it harder for them to process scary imagery. This fear is normal, but there are steps parents can take to ease their child’s anxieties.
How to Prepare Your Child for Halloween
Preparation is key to helping your child feel more comfortable during Halloween and during any scary or new experience. Here are some ways to get started:
Explain what happens during Halloween – make the unknown known
One of the best ways to help your child overcome Halloween fears is to explain what happens well in advance. Let them know that Halloween is a time for dress-up and fun and that the scary costumes they see are just make-believe. Walk them through what they can expect, whether it’s trick-or-treating, attending a Halloween party or simply seeing decorations in the neighbourhood. Can you show them photos, videos of what happened last year. This takes away the fear of the unknown. The unknown is a scary place to be when you are a little person and you have no control over it.
Talk to them about what you did for Halloween when you were a child, what’s the same and what’s different.
Use Reassuring Language while looking at their worry / fear
When talking to your child about Halloween be mindful of not reinforcing their fears by downplaying scary aspects, validate their fears or worries. Share with them that sometimes your body feels scared too and let them know what your body needs when you are scared.
Ask them where they feel their worry in their body. Would they like to draw their worry, make it in playdough / clay, would they like to stamp on it, would they like to tear pieces off it and make it smaller? This externalises their worry and gives them an element of control over it.
Be mindful to avoid Over-Exposure to Scary Elements-with good reason!
While some kids thrive on spooky fun, others may become overwhelmed. Tailor your Halloween experience to your child’s age and comfort level. Consider skipping overly scary events, such as haunted houses or horror-themed decorations, in favour of more family-friendly Halloween activities. Halloween experiences can often be created with adults in mind and these should be avoided with children due to their scary nature. They are often inappropriate because children’s young developing brains and bodies are not able to process the content and the dysregulation created by these scary events/costumes/movies/images. It is important to note that exposing young children to very scary content can be detrimental and traumatic to their young nervous systems. We have worked with children in our play therapy practice where this trauma has shown up in different ways long after Halloween. Sometimes in children’s disturbed sleep or anxiety around certain activities etc.
At Connected Childhood, we specialize in helping parents understand their child’s emotions and fears. Through our Connected Consultations, Masterclass covering Connection in Separation and Setting Boundaries and free mindfulness activities, we teach parents practical strategies to manage their child’s anxiety, especially during high-stress periods like Halloween.
Practical Tips to Calm a Scared Child on Halloween
If your child gets anxious during Halloween, there are several techniques you can use to help them manage their fear in real-time:
Practice Mindfulness Exercises
Mindfulness for children is a powerful tool to help manage anxiety. Teach your child simple breathing techniques they can use whenever they feel scared. A basic exercise like “balloon breathing” (where they imagine their belly filling up like a balloon with each breath) can quickly calm their nerves. These exercises allow your child to focus on the present moment and soothe their fear. Mindfulness takes practice and your child will take their lead from you, so modelling taking a breath when you are feeling scared / anxious / worried about something is going to help your child when they have the same feelings.
At Connected Childhood, we offer resources and guides to help parents introduce child mindfulness exercises into daily routines, which can be especially helpful during stressful occasions like Halloween.
Link here to Free Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness – Connected Childhood mindful parenting
Create a Safe Zone
Designate a safe, quiet space in your home where your child can retreat if they start feeling overwhelmed. This “safe zone” can be their bedroom, a cosy corner, or even just your lap, where they can relax and decompress. Let them know that it’s okay to take a break if they feel scared and that they can always return to the fun when they’re ready.
Bring Familiar Comfort Items
Allow your child to carry a comfort item, like a favourite stuffed animal or blanket, with them during Halloween activities. This familiar object can provide reassurance and help them feel safe in unfamiliar or spooky environments.
Fun, Less Scary Alternatives
Not all children enjoy traditional Halloween activities, and that’s okay! There are plenty of alternative ways to celebrate Halloween without the fear factor:
- Family-Friendly Halloween Parties: Consider hosting a small, child-friendly party where the costumes and decorations are light-hearted rather than spooky.
- Daytime Trick-or-Treating: If your child is scared of trick-or-treating at night, opt for a daytime event where the environment is less intimidating.
- Pumpkin Decorating: Instead of carving pumpkins, let your child decorate pumpkins with paint, stickers or markers for a fun and creative activity.
- Inside Out-The inside of a pumpkin is a great messy play activity, stick the seeds and gunk into a bowl and let them at it!
These alternatives allow your child to participate in the holiday without feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
Encouraging Positive Experiences Post-Halloween
Once Halloween is over, it’s important to reinforce positive memories and experiences with your child. Talk to them about the parts of Halloween they enjoyed, whether it was wearing their costume, receiving sweets, playing Halloween games. Encourage them to focus on the fun aspects and remind them how brave they were to face their fears. Remind them that being scared is a feeling and it’s an important one, warning us of danger…..at Halloween this danger is the spookiness and they were scared and brave at the same time.
If Halloween was particularly difficult for your child, consider reaching out for additional support. At Connected Childhood, we offer personalized Connected Consultations where we work with families to address specific concerns, such as childhood anxiety and fear management.
Helping Your Child Enjoy Halloween Without Fear
Halloween doesn’t have to be a stressful experience for your child. By preparing in advance, using mindfulness techniques and tailoring the activities to your child’s comfort level, you can help them overcome their Halloween fears. With time, patience and support, your child can learn to enjoy the spooky holiday.
For more resources and guidance on managing childhood anxiety, explore the courses and services offered by Connected Childhood, where we provide evidence-based strategies for fostering emotional resilience and well-being in children.