Moving schools can be a significant transition for children and can lead to some parenting challenges. When we can bring awareness, kindness and compassion to ourselves first we can then give it to our children and others. So reflect on how you are feeling about the move. Allow yourself to feel how you feel without judgement and then you will be able to do this for your child. Your child will need you as an anchor in this process so in order to be that anchor, ask yourself, what do you need to support yourself?
Parenting tips to help children adjust to moving schools:
Preparation Before the Move
Open Communication: Talk to your children about the move as soon as possible. Explain why it’s happening and listen to their concerns and feelings. Give them as much notice as you can so you can have lots of conversations in the form of wishes, worries, and role play. Intently listen to what they have to say.
See the move from their perspective. This will help reduce their anxiety and help you to tune into what’s going on for your child. It always helps to strengthen family relationships when we can look at the issue through the lens of the child.
Involve Them in the Process: Let children participate in school-related decisions such as visiting the new school or choosing a new school bag and lunch box.
Research and visit the new school: Learn about the new school’s environment, curriculum and extracurricular activities. Share this information with your child to help them make the unknown known.
Connect with Future Classmates: Try to arrange playdates or meetings with future classmates before the move to build initial friendships. This can also help build a family support network in your new community.
During the Move
Stay Authentic: Be honest about your feelings regarding the move. Name that moving can be scary so that your child knows it is okay to be scared or nervous about the move.
Create a Goodbye Ritual: Help your children say goodbye to their current school and friends by asking them how they would like to do that, giving them choices and honoring their decisions. This could be a farewell gathering, a scrapbook, making something for each of their friends or making something with their friends that your child can keep in their school bag in their new school. So they know even though they are apart from their old friends, a piece of them is still with them.
Maintain Routines: Keep family routines as consistent as possible to provide a sense of stability and safety during the transition. This stability can be reinforced by effective parenting strategies that help maintain a sense of normalcy.
After the Move
Be Patient and Supportive: Allow your children time to adjust to the new school. Listen without looking for worries where there are none and if there are worries listen, be present with your child. Really listening is an act of love.
Get Involved in the New School: Participate in school events and activities to show support and help your children feel more connected. Joining a parenting support group can provide additional resources and emotional support.
Monitor Academics and Social Adjustment: How is your child settling in? Have they friends , are they speaking about anyone when they come home from school? Are they involved in school activities? i.e sports clubs, art clubs, drama clubs , music/ choir etc. Communicate regularly with teachers to address any concerns.
Encourage Extracurricular Activities: Go to the local club and encourage your child to get involved or you as a parent get involved and your child may follow!
Tips for Different Age Groups
Young Children:
- Use stories and play to explain the move.
- Keep favorite toys and comfort items on hand.
- Visit the local park and amenities for children in the area.
- Involve them in packing and setting up their new room.
- Encourage them to express their feelings through drawing or writing.
- Spend parent and child quality time to reinforce security and comfort.
Teenagers:
- Listen ,listen listen – listening is an act of love
- Ensure they know they can lean on you and you have their back.
- Give them some element of choice around the move.
- Encourage them to stay in touch with old friends while making new ones.
- Encourage them to get involved in school clubs, sports, or other interests.
Parenting challenges and parenting tips
Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validate your children’s feelings of sadness, anger or anxiety about the move. Let them know it’s okay to feel this way. Leave out the judgment, they feel how they feel and that’s ok.
Provide Extra Comfort: Spend additional quality time with your children to provide emotional support and a sense of safety. Positive parenting techniques, such as active listening and empathy, can be particularly helpful during this time.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your children are struggling significantly with the transition, consider seeking support from the school or a play therapist. Shine through supports website link
Staying Connected with Old Friends
Use video calls, social media, and letters to help your children stay connected with friends from their previous school. If possible, arrange visits to see old friends during holidays.
By addressing the emotional, social, and academic aspects of the transition, you can help your children adapt more smoothly to their new school environment. Engaging in gentle and respectful parenting and nurturing a strong family support network can significantly enhance this process.
Recommended Books for moving school
Books about separation, being brave, and listening to your inner voice that may be helpful to read with your child:
- A Little Bit Brave by Nicola Kinnear
- Invisible String by Patrice Karst
- Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! by Mo Willems
Prepared to parent
If you feel you need support on your parenting journey, our Discovery Programme may be what you need. For 6 weeks we will walk alongside you and together we find that ‘missing piece’ for you, that aha moment where you find connection in your role as a parent and then that beautiful new lens through which to see your child. Join our next Discovery programme here.
