The most effective and positive parenting tip we have for preparing for secondary school is – listen, listen and listen! For some the transition to secondary school is a breeze, for others it is a storm. So here’s our tips on how to make it easier for everyone.
Listening is an act of love, being present not judging or evaluating just being there for your child in their hard moments. Listening top understand is different to listening to be understood, we are looking for LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND,
When your teenager is having a hard time try to remain in the being state not the doing or the fixing state. When we really listen, your child feels, seen, heard and validated AND when we rush in to fix or judge, we give the message that they are not capable of handling this situation. We want them to come to us when things are hard, so we MUST listen without fixing or judging.
Our children have great ideas as to how manage situations themselves, get curious with them rather than telling them what to do.
An example of getting curious and language to use is “you mentioned this… I wonder can you tell me more about” . “Help me understand this piece, I am confused”.
See our mindfulness section for help with the “being state” rather than the “doing or fixing”!
Link to mindfulness section of our website
List of things I might need – add to it as you need (This is for your child to organsie AND some children will need help with this)
| School bag with at least 2 compartments | |
| Wall Planner of academic year | |
| Large hession folder for each subject | |
| Pencils, pens (red and blue) pencil parer, rubber, highlighter for each subject that goes in the hession bag. The pens with 4 different colours on them can be helpful – one in each bag | |
| Hardback A4 or A3 for each subject that goes in each subject bag. Some subjects have specific copies / paper e.g maths, music, teach graph | |
| Maths set, scientific calculator graph paper for your maths folder | |
| Sticky notes / flash cards for making notes or mind maps at the end of each chapter | |
| Label all books equipment and clothes either with labels or a permanent marker | |
| Label lunch boxes with permanent marker, I couldn’t tell you howe many lunch boxes I have bought! | |
| Morning Routine | Afternoon Routine |
Things your child might need to do to get ready for the school day.
Your child may need support with doing some of these tasks but also will need the time and space to be allowed to try to organise themselves on their own, at their own pace. This may be a little slower than you would like! Having a go at it themselves is so important. Some of the items on this list may not be applicable to your child and add to it where appropriate!
- Charge their mobile phone and have it switched off.
- Check their time-table and see what homework and materials they need for the following school day.
- Do the homework/study they need to do that night. They can be strategic about this, not all homework needs to be done on the day they are given it. Their timetable will determine when they do their homework.
- Take all the things they don’t need for the next day out of their bag.
- File any notes they got in school in the appropriate folder (don’t leave them at the end of the bag as they’ll get ruined).
- Get all the materials they need for the next day and pack them.
- Check if they have PE or a subject like Tech Graph that they need extra equipment for and make sure they pack this – they might like to have a separate list of the equipment needed so they can check it.
- Make sure they have their uniform ready.
- Pack their lunch and drink.
- Check that they have enough pens and pencils and pack their pencil case, ruler and calculator.
- If they use an I-Pad or laptop they need to make sure that it’s charged and that they have packed the chargers. Pack the I-pad / laptop if they use one
- Make sure they have given any relevant notes to their parents.
Locker
Hopefully your child will get the chance to go into your new school and practice locking and opening one of the lockers there and making a plan for how to organise it. If your child requires a locker at the beginning of a row or a top locker as opposed to a bottom locker for easy access, be sure you request this in advance. Not all requests can be granted, but its worth trying if they struggle with organisation.
Your child will most likely only be allowed go to their locker at the following times:
Before classes
During mid-morning break
During lunch break
After school
Your child will need to learn to quickly change the books for the classes that follow these periods and your child may need to practice this with a mock time-table when they get their books.
Recommended system for your child for organising their books and timetable
Photocopy the timetable, have it on the fridge, their phone, your phone, anywhere else that it is needed!
All books and copies, pens, pencils, colouring pencils, calculators for the relevant subject should be placed in a sturdy see-through, zipped folder – A3 is best. Every folder gets a pencil and a pen!
Label the folders so that the students can see the labels when they’re in the locker. Alternatively they could colour code them with a small dot or buy the ones that have different coloured zips, a different colour for each subject.
Folders can break so have a good supply of them at home and replace them when necessary.
The timetable can also be colour coded to match the folders, for example, if maths on your timetable is red, then the zippy A3 folder has a red zip or a red label on it.
Prepared to Parent
If you feel you need support on your parenting journey, our Connected Consultation might be what you need, together we find that ‘missing piece’ for you, look at what might be going on for your child and how best you can support them in whatever is coming up for them. We have started secondary school 6 times between us, with each of our children and guided many sixth class students through the transition. Connected Consultations
